How I learnt to love myself

 

HOW I LEARNT TO BE "ME"💖

Life, a word which doesn’t always adhere to dictionary definitions, how hard oxford may try but life remains different to different people because we are born different even when biology will teach you that you are the same species. But that does not play into real life as what I may perceive as a moment to cherish might be not the same for the next person in line. Earth never stops and so does the time, we are running out of not only fossil fuels (yeah, I know I’m talking a lot of science today😅) but our own humanity too. We live in a prejudice world where pride rules the mind of people. We never try to keep ourselves in other’s shoes before shooting a comment on how they look, what colour they are or how they speak. This is the bitter truth of the world we breathe in because we never change for good.

But is this how things should always keep on going? Come on you guys now we cannot hope UN to give solution to the problem that has been debated for decades now, nothing has happened till now and we are no Nostradamus who will know every second of the upcoming time. So now comes the point what do we do? And more importantly do we really have to do something? And according to me the answer should be yes.  Yes, one thing that exclusively will be done only by us that is start loving yourself. Now as easy it is to type this 3-word phrase “start loving yourself” may sound but here kicks in the dilemma of life where it pulls you out of your fantasies and tell you “hold on, that is not how it works, you are no Greek God”. And hell yeah, this is where we all stop and never think of going ahead.

I lost a lot to come to point where now I can say that have learnt to love myself. I’m no Wonder woman nor I’m going to be but I am going to make sure that I will become the best version of myself. It’s not that I don’t feel pang when I hear annoying rumours about me or I am always intact whatever the situation may be. I cry, I blame, I feel hopeless and yes, I go through all those depressive thoughts when life pushes me into pits of problems but I also bounce back, try to live again and trust me I honestly love it this way. I may be a façade of arrogance to someone, or a façade of show-off to others or I may be a façade of nothing too. But who I am or what I am going to be won’t be defined on the basis of what people think about me and this isn’t changing not now, not forever. You may not like how I project myself, or how I try project myself and its absolutely fine because if there are thousands who don’t like me openly or sneakily will not change the fact that I also have a some who love me for who I am.

People challenged me, they still do; people broke me, a few to the deepest cores where wounds are still fresh; people loathed everything in me and they still are looking for more flaws. There was a time where I let all these people define me, amend me, I changed myself just to appeal them. But then a moment came in my life, when someone close to me ditched me to the darkest corners of my vulnerability and I realised that I cannot be anything but my myself. I am running, I am falling and I still get up but in all this I’m being myself and genuinely, I am content not happy because happiness and misery are like water that slip out of hands eventually but if you are gratified you learn to live better and be someone better. Every day I look into the mirror, I don’t point out my flaws anymore, I point out my blessings and this is a change that made me realise that I cannot please everyone and now in fact, I don’t even want to.

I trusted people, I lost; I believed people, I lost; I expected from people, I lost yet I never lost my faith in myself. I was pushed into darkness where I kept on walking without light, with no destination in my mind but I kept on going because the outer darkness could not consume my inner flame. I was not alone in this, I had people who held me up when my legs were giving up and for them, I’m always one to feel most fortunate about. You see we spent a lot of time, especially our teenage hood in living life on others bits but when you start living your life for your own good you see the true beauty of being able to walk on two legs and to able to use alarm clock in the morning (what an expression to define humans! Keep up the good work😂). I cherish every day even when I feel the lowest of my self-esteem because now, I know that today may not be my day but that doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be too. You see ultimately only two kind of people live one who don’t have any other option and two who don’t want any other option because you see, my friend, you have to lead before you get left.

Love,

Priyal

Ps. That was the most untied piece of my personal life but it was all worth it. Next Wednesday see you with – how I am spending my lockdown.

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Yukta ChandaMay 2, 2021 at 12:21 PM

    Hii priyal
    Hope u are doing well
    Loved all that you shared ☺️,seriously everyone's life is like this only right know everyone have some or the other stuff going on with them.
    But all we can do is to wait for tomorrow😃.

    Love yourself and don't give a fuck to anyone who don't cares about you❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete

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