Trust

 

Trust, ahh… a word that makes and breaks relationships, that creates and destroys people and a word that comes with lot of reasons and consequences. A lot of us don’t even understand the true reality that justifies its existence. It can be the strongest pillar in a bond yet at the same time can also be the most delicate mirror that can shatter the world around you in moments. You don’t need to experience a heart break or feel betrayed to realise the true meaning of this word. You need to feel those thousands of emotions when someone ties you a thread of trust with them. You need to experience the happiness, the serenity and the pain that this mere word of five-letter brings to you. Above all, you need to first feel it inside you and then in your external world. You stand strong when you trust yourself, you grow greater when you believe in yourself and you become the true ‘you’ when you put faith in whosoever you are, regardless of any fears that haunt you and your self-esteem. You become loyal to others when you prove that loyalty to you. So, you see, it’s not a two-way thing all the time, it initially is something that begins deep inside you.

It’s easy to gain trust and then break it and as it has been said, it is considerably difficult to go through the situation in vice versa. Trust is earned when the actions meet the words. True. Absolutely true, why? I don’t think it’s a question to ask or answer. You can claim anything that you are not but deep down you know it’s not the world you’re cheating but it’s you who have been cheated, betrayed and deceived. You don’t have trust less; you have to believe less.  It’s easy to question every single achievement, it’s very simple to complain about every action, it’s painless to sprinkle salt on every wound. And then it’s all so effortless because it’s one thing to blame- trust. Isn’t that what we all do? We torment all that what goes against our wishes, we surge to strike every anguish that makes us feel better. And then we blame it on trust. It’s not the trust that is broken every time you go behind back and lie or you claim something and do other thing; it actually breaks the faith that you put in yourself to trust someone.

I’m not broken because I lost. I was never born broken. I was born blind. I was born so blind to trust and trust again, even when there was nothing left to trust about. I don’t want to feel hollow; I am not a porcelain doll who needs sophistication and care. I am born independent and that’s how I intend to be. I’ll dance through every heartbreak; I’ll sings all chorus when I feel empty and void yet I’ll not dwell on it because I have learnt to let go. I don’t believe in you; I believe in me and that’s what just needed to keep going. I have learnt to self-trust because ultimately every single time life has proven it more worthy than anything else. I trust. I believe. I’ve faith. I don’t have trust issues; I don’t have any issues. It’s just I have understood that life seems less painful and more beautiful when you trust what’s worthy. It’s a big word and something so evolutionary that I may not have discovered and absorbed fully yet but I know with time, as I’ll go through ups and down, through every rough and smooth path of life; I and you both will realize it’s easy to make cracks but so difficult to fix them. It’s easy to fall but so hard to get up. It’s easy to love but worse to lose. It’s easy to live but thorny to be a survivor. It’s alright to feel nothing, it’s fine to be nothing because everybody has their days of numbness and nonentity. remember, deep inside us all our demons hide and the day you let them out to someone you got what you are looking for- trust.

Love,

 Priyal ❤

Ps. I floated through every single bit of emotion as I revived some memories and wrote them down. But this made me realize something else and that is I’m stronger than before, well, I’ll see you with how to deal with hate comments. Relatable? We’ll see.