Fear

 

Fear, we all have one. Comes in all forms, in all sorts, at all times and more importantly always uncalled. We are all made of demons. We never let them out and they haunt us to our darkest parts where even a slightest of light do not penetrate. We aren’t only made of blood and flesh, there is always more to it. Me and you are more than just fluids and bones we are creatures desperate for happiness, scared to lose and drowning paper boat in the vast ocean of mortality. No was born immune to death. No one was born utterly audacious. We all know in the deepest and gloomiest cores hides our deadliest fears that if let out keep power to erase us like we never happened. Sometimes our demons haunt us to dimmest passages, sometimes they chase us like they are unbeatable and other times they choke us in immense guilt, regret and remorse. Trepidations or phobias one never wishes to face but ultimately, we do encounter them and it is unmistakeably true that when we finally come face to face to our horrors, we either perish or we conquer.

Some fear the dark, other fear the heights, some fear losing, other fear gaining, some fear being nothing, other fear waiting. But the worst of them is fear when you fear yourself. When you are scared of who you can be, we you are tormented by the beast inside you because you know the injured monster that lays within you if unleashed will bring nothing but destruction. Fear the feared, they say but what if you are the feared. This world isn’t the multihued painting we imagine it to be, it is a cruel world and we are naïve to the cruelties that it brings to extinguish our lives. Those who fear the dark will learn to switch on the light, those who are afraid of losing will find someone that will remain forever, those who fear waiting will accept moving on but those who fear themselves will reside in the dark, will remain alone and will never stop because their halt will the commencement of the chapter that will take them far from happily ever after.

They might be the strongest ones but they are the most broken ones as well. They might be invincible but yet they have lost themselves a long time back. They are judged, they are hated but remember they are even meaner than their own demons, colder than the villains in their head and they are the worst nightmares even to themselves. So, they don’t fear you neither do they care about your estimations regarding them, what they worry is, if the deadly disease inside them sinks out how far will it succumb the others. They are toxic; toxicity live and blossom inside them. They have strong walls around them that will definitely bruise you if you try to break them.  You never know the being behind the façade because you never try to see behind that façade. We listen and believe the world; we form believes on what other believe and then we blame it on them. We all play this blame game. The world blames on them, they blame their fears and their fears blame the world. And you see, this cycle continues and never ends.

We all dread different things, feelings, persons and maybe our past. These fears make us, they break us but they don’t go away. They stay. You may not feel the allure of darkness I bring with me but it endures. I wasn’t born into pieces, I suffered, I changed and I become the devil that haunts me every day, in every form and in all sorts of fears. You don’t my story, I don’t want you to. I fine the way I am for I have learnt to tame my demons, suppress my fears and conquer my dreads. They live with me, are never dying but I am in control. I don’t like being controlled. Call me paranoid, hypocritic or callous or anything. I quite capable of handling myself, I am fairly capable of vandalizing visions that I approve and I know how to surmount. I may be the most fragile damaged thing you’ll come across but even then, remember, nothing scares me. I have fears that I can’t reverse, they are face whitening, silence-consuming and I know they all are going come together for me. Nonetheless, even with my bloodshot eyes, I will welcome you to my dark side like tigress. You can either forget everything and run or face everything and rise. The choice is yours. I made mine, what about you?

love,

Priyal 🍁

Ps. Sometimes it is good to redefine yourself. Anyways, I am pretty impressed by today's piece...shocked as well but do tell me your reviews about it in the comments. I will see you next Wednesday with- My unending obsession with languages.  

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